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She bought a lime green sports car with Dad's life insurance but had to sell the house to pay off a few months of utility bills. My mother said we were lucky to be able to drive such a nice car while apartment hunting. (at 85 miles per hour!) She signed the first lease presented. We moved into a rejected sardine can four blocks away from the nine room, half acre home we once owned.If I had known how dangerous she was with a checkbook, I would have stolen it. All of our money troubles could have been solved in a single stroke. Mother wrote checks like a high financier, but she had trouble stuffing them into condom vending machines. Cash was a foreign concept. Without her checkbook, she'd be forced into begging for blank checks on street corners. I did steal it eventually, but I should have the instant I was able to forge her signature (half an 'X').It happened the day I realized that my mother was actually a highly intelligent woman. We were eating lunch on a Sunday afternoon. I stared. Oh shit - you can actually see the black dildo mounted on the horse’s saddle”.Paddy grabbed the phone: “that’s beautiful - what a gorgeous little girl”.Brian: “Yes, that’s Sophie - it was some 7 years ago, when she was 6 - she’s all grown up now - prefers real horses and real cocks”.“Equi-philia ?” laughed Ellie “I’m not even sure that is a word”.Brian: “I just looked that up - no she rides the horses and fucks the boys - I doubt she’s ever actually had sex with a horse. Anyway - do you want this merry-go-round? It’s disassembled, so you’ll just need a van or a large trailer to transport it”.Paddy: “OK - I can hire a van for Saturday. What’s that funny splashing sound? Sorry if we caught you in the bath”.Brian turned on the camera, showing his head and wet torso and then panned the phone down to show his wife sucking on his erection in the jacuzzi: “this is Margie - say hello Margie”.Margie: “Hi guys - we’d love to have you over for the weekend and take away that pile of junk in the.
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